10 image selection

The onset of the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020 greatly affected my mental health which exhibited itself most prominently in my motherhood. Towards the end of the year, oppressive sadness developed into a major depressive episode. To cope, I obsessively lifted my digital camera, documenting my son’s everyday activities and our surroundings. This soothing ritual developed in response and as a means to process anxiety about my son. The fear that my son was somehow, like me, unwell, fueled this incident. 

I questioned my capabilities as a mother and projected my melancholy onto my son - was he depressed too? These photographs and accompanying journal entries spawn from a mind confused about his reality; they provide an alternative narrative to my son’s life by including my internal monologue alongside the scene being photographed. I lend two views: the documentary images of my family and the discourse of my inner struggles. In my mind, during this period, the two were synonymous. Photography and writing carried me through that difficult time and continues to be an integral part of my recovery.